Fake & Phony Folks

I usually don’t do this but uh…..

Lately, a friend of mine and I have been inundated with seriously fake folks. I don’t know how to respond or how to react to it anymore other than cutting them off at the knees – figuratively speaking. My patience is too thin.

I will admit that in my younger years I was often charged with the crime of being “fake”. I am woman enough to  admit that at that point in my life I was indeed fake by my own standards – my need to please people and not to have folks mad at me or disliking me was greater than being honest with people. I pretended that I gave a flip about folks that I didn’t or that I was cool with folks that I wasn’t…and if that wasn’t bad enough, I would then go and share my true feelings with people that I THOUGHT were my friends and then I was “outed” — I was “fake”. The kiss of death amongst collegiate social circles.

But that was then…

Now, I am completely the opposite and it is sooooo liberating! (Thanks BFF for that ) It has gotten easier to simply say to someone, “There really isn’t any reason to carry on this conversation because I don’t really care what you do.” OR “No, I don’t want to join you for dinner and while I appreciate the gesture, you don’t have to extend an invitation just because I happen to be standing here and you are going to dinner/drinks with her.” *<– Real things that I have said to real people.  But is there a such thing as being TOO real? I think that there is a way to be honest without being hurtful but sometimes I have a hard time finding it, particularly when I am dealing with fake folks. You would think that I would be a little more compassionate but my tolerance level is soooooo low when I KNOW you are not being real.

Ride with me for a minute on this one…. So not too long ago my friend *Theresa made a life changing decision that required the support and assistance of friends. She was not worried when she made this life-changing decision because she had been a part of so many groups, circles of “friends” and organizations that when the time came for her to require their assistance, it should have been as easy as making a few phone calls and the people would have been there. Right? WRONG. When the time came for rubber to meet the road practically NO ONE had her back. I was there to help but was not able to be as helpful as I wanted to be b/c of my pregnant state. Hell, an associate that she knew in passing on her block was more helpful than the folks she had been a shoulder to cry on/ a listening ear/ a supportive colleague to. When it was time for the real folks to stand up you would have thought that she cursed EVERYBODY’S mama for filth and slashed all their tires! Theresa was devastated and couldn’t understand what she possibly could have done to deserve this treatment. We were both stunned at the behavior of one person in particular – a person that had called herself a friend and ALWAYS wore her ear out with her personal drama and issues and Theresa was always available for her, always there but when the tables were turned – she was nowhere to be found – literally. What makes people act this way? We are talking about GROWN A** WOMEN/MEN and it doesn’t make any dizzam sense.

Theresa is the type of person that would rather you just be honest and upfront in the beginning so she will be able to act accordingly. She pretty much takes you at face value and goes from there – no love lost, no harm no foul. So she is the LAST person that one should feel they need to be fake to. As a matter of fact, she is probably THE realeast person I know.

So once the dust settled and Theresa was settled in her new beginnings these SAME heffas had the audacity to catch an attitude with her for not blowing their phones up or calling them to touch base about HER mental/emotional status…. FOR REAL THOUGH?? I thought SHE was the one that made the change – you should be calling her right??? I don’t know – maybe it’s me. The fake folks actually got attitudes with HER – amazing. No. Really. Amazing. While this particular situation didn’t happen to me, I completely identify with it and can truly go on and on all day with similar stories but I won’t….there will be other blog posts, other days;).

Well that is my soapbox….just had to get it off my chest and post my petition for realness. Maybe I’ll start a campaign kinda like Diddy’s – instead of “No Bi***@ssness” mine will be “No FAKE@ssness”??? Kind of catchy huh?

*name has been changed.