X-Ray Vision

I hate going to the dentist.

I become a 2-year-old, overly sensitive cry-baby no matter what I am getting done. From routine cleaning to x-rays to root canal it doesn’t matter.

I hate going to the dentist.

A week ago I had to face the music and get some long overdue dental work done. I had to finally make amends with a problem that has brewed under the surface for almost 6 years.  Yeah, 6 years, I know….don’t judge me.

When my middle son, Ajani, was born my dentist told me that my pregnancy and nursing of him weakened my enamel on my teeth and a small cavity had surfaced on the inside of one of my back teeth. The X-rays showed some preliminary signs of surface decay – nothing major – that could be resolved with a quick filling. I promised that I would have it treated but never did. I scheduled and re-scheduled my appointments until finally I just stopped kidding myself and the dentist. I did continue to have my routine cleanings and every time my dentist would warn me that I needed to treat that tooth. Now here I am 6 years later and the problem has finally left me with no choice….the X-rays show that what started as a minor surface problem had developed into a deep cavity that could’ve resulted in a root canal. Yikes.

So, what has compelled me to write about such a personal thing? It’s that from the outside, my teeth are pristine. I floss regularly so my gums are strong and I brush twice daily. To me, my teeth are pretty to look at and show no evidence of decay but the x-rays – that showed what was going on on the inside –  told a different story.. and it wasn’t pretty. Of all things for God to use as a teachable moment, right?

Matthew 23: 27 Woe to you scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)! For you are like tombs that have been whitewashed, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men’s bones and everything impure.

I had disregarded the early warnings and signs from the dentist and chosen to allow the issue to fester beneath the surface until it was exposed. My tooth had become so sensitive to temperature and sugar until I couldn’t take it any longer. When I finally got under the drill, the dentist had to drill all the way down – almost into the root – to remove the cavity and then fill it with whatever it is dentist fill teeth with. I had to get three shots of Novocaine to numb the area and had to endure 3 hours of anxiety (even though the procedure was only 20 minutes total).

So often we ignore the signs of an unhealthy spiritual life (or natural life for that matter) and keep moving, disregarding them as minor issues – ” God knows my heart”, “I am only human”, “I know I wasn’t completely honest about that but God, what was I supposed to do?”, Fill in your own here_______ . These are my excuses, in the words of Kirk Franklin “I cast my own stone”. If you are a believer, God always speaks to us in that still quiet voice, he is the ultimate X-ray, His spirit is always revealing truth to us about ourselves if only we choose to listen. And not just listen but act on what He is directing us to do,  say or learn. He is the greatest excavator and cleans out the ugliest and nastiest of “tombs” but we are the ones that choose to whitewash them. We are the ones who parade around with the masks like everything is all good. Like we’ve got it all together so that we seem to be something we are not on the outside. But what about what is going on inside? What about what is happening under the surface that we so deliberately and sometimes, quite expertly, hide?

Additionally, the work didn’t just stop at the discovery and removal. My ‘cleaned-out’ tooth had to be filled with something. My tooth needed a filling. Just as I can’t stop at removing whatever that dark, ugly place is in my heart that God is treating, I have to fill it with something. It is up to me what I fill it with. If I am wise, I fill it with the Word of God, wise counsel, positive influences. If I am foolish, I return to my old habits and familiar ways and end up where I started from – or worse.

As I was wrapping up  my enlightening trip to the dentist, I asked if that tooth was safe and if more work needed to be done to that tooth. He shrugged and warned me that he would have to keep an eye on it  because he got as much as he could see but that didn’t mean it was 100%  cured. I would have to guard it and keep watch…

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.

Selah.

So now my prayer for my spiritual (and natural) life is that God, the ultimate X-Ray, continues to grant me the eyes to see and the ears to hear not just what is going on at the surface, but give me the desire, the courage and the strength to dig deeper and deal with what lies beneath – for there is where the healing begins and there is where I truly discover who I am.

Love y’all!